Oh God

Oh God
Why have you allowed me to sink
To this state of being?
My former me
Merely
A figment of a sketchy imagination
A mind wrought with chaos and uncertainty.

For what end
Am I a skeleton of yesteryear?
Living in what was
Making love to memories
Who I am
Disgusts me.

Reduction to the lowest common denominator
Yet possessing the will to fight
Is an equation of insanity
How can a plate of wrong when eaten
Taste right?

You're far off from me, God
At least you seem to be
I talk to you everyday
Begging, pleading, for an opportunity
To see
A glimpse
Of a happy me.

Why so downcast oh my soul?
Because my hope in God
Has left me wary.
So with only residual energy to lift my head
I moan a tearfilled help me.

They're Not Gonna Kill Me

Remember my torn esophagus?

Well, it's stress related. I bet you couldn't see that coming.

Apparently, when I stress, I get acid reflux. The acid burns my already weak throat.

Huh, what? You didn't know I Was stressed?

Oh yes. That's why I am about to go in and QUIT!

Thunder Scares Me

Recently the heat wave in the DC metro area birthed perfect conditions for thunderstorms and of course those wretched tornadoes.

Maybe nature misunderstood.

I enjoy sleeping to RAIN, not THUNDER and LIGHTENING!

Power was knocked out a couple times, and I was VERY SCARED. I even contemplated sleeping under the stairs leading to the basement. Spine shaking thunder and crackling lightening really scare me; no really, they scare me.

My sister mentioned that she may have PTSD from experiencing hurricanes as kids. I think it's very possible that I have it, too. My fear of thunder/ lightening is really on another scale. And the thought of a tornado gives me IBS. In fact, the IBS/heartburn/ esophagus pain is back and it started around last Thursday when we were under tornado watch quite a bit.

I still remember the sound of an earthquake as a child. (Yes, there is a sound. It's kinda like a train whistle. Very eerie.) Anyway, I am very unnerved by natural disasters that are impossible to anticipate.

Hmmmmm, makes me see the need for therapy after natural disasters.

Can you imagine the fear in the hearts of people that lived through the tsunami, Katrina, and the billion tornadoes this season?

What On Earth Did I Do!?!?!?

Ok, um.

Last night I placed a glass of iced tea on the night stand. My plan was to drink it throughout the night .... you know, if I got too hot.

So, WHY ON EARTH is my cocoa butter container filled with iced tea?!?!?

I was so grossed out and alarmed, and was about to get paranoid and think that a homeless Japanese woman was living in my closet, but then I remembered - at one point, I started drinking the iced tea, but then I thought I felt something touch my lip, so I spit it out, but I thought I spit it into the glass!

I actually spit it into my cocoa butter.

I swear, I should get paid for being so special. Pun intended.

My Daughter

Meet Mikela.