Me, Elmer & Little Hairs

Ok, so I read somewhere that if you put Elmers glue on your face and let it dry it'll get rid of all the pimple and blackheads and stuff.

So guess what I did?

I slathered Elmers glue ALL OVER MY FACE!

It felt good yet smelled like crap, but was weirdly fun.

I left it on, and um ... let's just say that taking it off was a B*TCH!

I so did not read the part about avoiding the eyebrows. It hurt like hell to take off! I had to wet my face to try to unglue the glue!

Then I discovered that I guess I have baby hair on my face, like peach fuzz, OMG, I'M A BEAR! OUCH!

Um, how about you don't put glue on your face. Just take my word for it.

That's my OCD in overdrive. I use a gazillion face products.

Gratitude Moment: Thankful that I got the glue out of my hairline.

I Punish Myself Part 1

I have a HUGE issue with punishing myself.

It affects every part of my life and manifests everywhere.

Some back story:

I am bipolar 2.

I also have what's called an eating disorder not otherwise classified. That means that I am not classified as anorexic or bulimic, despite having attributes of both. I see myself as fat, although I'm not (anorexic) and I binge and purge (bulimic). Where the unclassified part comes in is that my eating disorder isn't fueled entirely by a desire to be skinny, but by my OCD and obsession with being clean.

Yup, I have an extreme obsession with keeping my insides clean and cootie-free, so I take laxatives.

Ok, how does this tie into the title?

Well, when I'm stressed or frustrated, I eat junk and then feel like crap. So, because I feel like crap and knew that I shouldn't have binged, I punish myself with laxatives.

That's just the beginning.

I have many books to read. I've stopped buying them, but I feel bad for not reading so I punish myself by wanting to shut off the cable.

I didn't drink as much water as I wanted to, so I throw away the juice mix.

I spent a lot money on spas, colonics and acne treatments, and then I binge, so to punish myself for wasting money, and not appreciating the money spent, I place myself on a crash diet and extreme skin care regimens.

If I let the house get to messy, it means that I don't appreciate our home and then I must sleep on the floor (hubby HATES this).

If I miss a deadline, forget to do something, make a mistake, take a wrong turn, anything...I punish myself to teach me a lesson.

After all, when you're punished, you're supposed to learn, right?

Introducing my amazing husband.

Grattitude Moment: So grateful for my husband's wisdom.

See I Punish Myself Part 2

OCD Overdrive!

I went to the ER today. Yeah, my cold brought a buddy - a sinus headache and an earache that wouldn't go away.

So, around noon I blew my nose (gross), and heard something in my ear POP. I felt like a scene in the matrix; everything went blurry & topsie turvy.

Yup, balance was affected. Hubby wouldn't say anything besides "ER", so I went.

I also went to check on my thumb.

Did I tell u about my thumb?

Well, I slipped on my sister's stairs in November. I was in socks, carpetted stairs, bump, buMP, BUMP. Anyway, I didn't feel a heck of a lot of pain, but its been hurting lately. So I had it checked, too.

But that's not the point of this post.

They had me waiting in Room #3, and I almost went NUTS!

I had to stop the drippy faucet
Straighten the paper on the bed/ chair thingy
Close the babywipes handwipes container
Make the 2 boxes of gloves face the same direction
Line up everything on the counter so they were symetrical!

WTH!

I'm gonna blame that rush of OCD on residual Nyquil in my system. Lol!

Much Ado About To Do

While packing, I found so many "To Do" lists and "To Do Tasks" scribbled everywhere that I'm drowning in To Do

It seems that part of my OCD/CDPD is being obsessed with not remembering, and so I write EVERYTHING down. I'm obsessed with remembering to write, but where's the remembering to do part?

I guess I knew a day like today would come when I find all of my "To Do" lists and "To Do Tasks" and actually DO them.

Oh Boy - OCPD?

There's something called OCPD?

Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder is a condition characterized by a chronic preoccupation with rules, orderliness, and control.

Did you know this?

Individuals with OCPD are rigid perfectionists who believe there is one right way to do things, and any other way is wrong. They will do anything to avoid making an error, which means they have trouble making decisions, since they might make the wrong choices; completing tasks, because the final product might not be perfect; and delegating responsibility, as the persons to whom they assign tasks might not do them perfectly.

Oh, brother!

They come off as judgmental, inflexible, emotionally withholding, stubborn, and lacking in generosity. These qualities, of course, can have devastating effects on personal and workplace relationships.

Do I add this to the list, too?!

Geez!

While OCD is an anxiety disorder, OCPD is a personality disorder in which seemingly compulsive behavior comes from the perfectionism and rigidity of the person with OCPD, not as a way to alleviate the anxiety caused by obsessions; a better name for the syndrome might be perfectionistic personality disorder.

Most importantly, the person with OCD recognizes that his or her thoughts and behaviors are irrational and excessive. The person with OCPD, believing his or her way of life to be correct, doesn’t perceive a problem and often doesn’t seek help until or unless someone forces the issue.

You've got to be kidding me!

I may be able to ignore that I have bipolar disorder, but OCPD so mirrors me, it might as well be named Butterfly!

See the criteria here.

I'm My Uncle's Niece

My uncle died in May.

Recently, I was at his house and realized that OCD just may be hereditary. LOL!

My uncle has an entire draw full of... PENS!

Ok, this doesn't seem like a big deal, but imagine a desk drawer, FULL of the SAME PEN!

It was hilarious to see; especially because I have a pen -hmmm, fetish, maybe.

I can only write with a blue Bic pen.
I won't permit anyone else to use them.

If I loan one, I standby like guards at the Federal Reserve to get it back! LMBO!!

I miss him, but his OCD lives on in me.