Writing requires thinking, and lately I've really been trying really hard NOT to think.
Thinking causes hurt and shame. Thinking dredges up that which I don't wanna talk about anyway. Just seems that lately it was easier not think or be numb.
I've been using food to prevent thought. I've been eating cheesecake, wings, Swedish fish and whatever else I can get my hands on. I focus on the food so I don't have to focus on my life. I'm not very happy with the way things are right now, and its a challenge to chuckle through pain, smile in the midst of fear and press on despite overwhelming fatigue.
It's tough and I'm tired and its easier to put all the things that bother me out of my head, and numb myself.
2 comments:
Here for you if you want to "talk".
certifiableprincess at yahoo dot com
And if not, that's cool too. I've been chowing down on gummy bears like they're going out of style.
Hooray depression. *sarcasm*
http://ontheothercheek.blogspot.com/
Being numb is ok. It can be very helpful as long as we don't stay there too long.
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