As wonderful as my hubby is, sometimes he tells me to "SUCK IT UP!"
As affectionately as he can say it, he reminds me that sometimes I simply need to stop whining, and to be a big girl.
At some point everyone's gonna have to stop blaming parents, a sucky childhoods, illness and relationships for sucky life.
Harsh isn't it?
Actually, it's truth.
I was watching the Today show as they discussed New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and his prostitution ring. Dr. Laura Schlesinger said that his wife was partly to blame. She proffered that "good men" do not stray from "good women" unless they are nymphos, weirdos, nuts or jerks.
She then said that Spitzer's wife should ask herself if she was being the affectionate, passionate, sexy, loving wife that her husband wanted and needed.
If she could honestly answer "yes", then she was a fool to be at his side. If her answer was no, then she should own her 1/2 of the marital decay.
The hosts of Today were not pleased, but I agree with Schlesinger 100%.
So many women want amazing men, men who will love and respect them, but they pick
Or they want great men, but are in fact damaged goods themselves.
Why should a first class man want a coach chick?
Why should a kobe beef man want some 2 week old lunch meat?
Go, Laura Schlesinger for going against the grain and speaking the truth, instead of being watered down!
Her new book is Stop Whining, Start Living.
2 comments:
Love your blog.
I have to say that I don't agree with this Laura chick!
Why? Because it is not about the Woman choosing losers or the wrong man, it is not about whether or not the Woman is passionate enough or around enough or whatever..
The ONES who cheat are the ONES with the problem...not the other spouse. The one who cheats has their own issues, their own problems, their own insecurities.
No spouse "makes" their spouse cheat... And "Good Men" do cheat...in my opinion. And this applies to women who cheat, too.
In my opinion, as Laura says, we cannot make excuses for our life or behavior...these men or even women cheat because they have their own issues to deal with. :)
For the love of all that is pure, just and right in the world, please tell me that you're not seriously buying the Schlesinger argument.
She is a narrow-minded, agenda driven egomaniac, who should (and does) know better than to compartmentalize and generalize the Spitzer situation as a matter of spousal need; that is, Spitzer's behavior has nothing to do with his wife.
Mrs. Spitzer could be the most affectionate, passionate, sexy and loving wife indeed, yet he cannot pay her for sex; he cannot satisfy his deviant behavior through her, nor would he want to. This deviance is part of the allure for a narcissistic individual, which is precisely what he is.
For him there is an element of challenge, of elitist entitlement; it has nothing to do with what he may or may not be getting at home. It's about behavior and authority, which he expresses through these sexual escapades.
Spitzer is engaging in risky behavior; federally/sexually/morally. He is consciously playing cat and mouse with the government; it's all part of the thrill.
He's a highly intelligent and charismatic individual who understands the game of cat and mouse, as he's more than familiar with wire tapping, as well as the all mighty paper trail.
He just doesn't care. He's a peacock strutting around, as he dares anyone to challenge his authority and behavior. This is about ego, power and excitement, not just the sex.
The public is merely a blip on his radar; we don't matter; public service is not his goal, power and authority are.
Spitzer is riddled with the classic antisocial/narcisstic personality traits that are typical for a man in his current, felonious position. And he has the endearing charisma that is needed to fool a spouse and in his case, the public.
As for Schlesinger, she knows that her opinion will create drama and thus, interviews/ratings/book sales, yet I don't doubt that she believes what she is saying and identifies with Spitzer, as it takes a supreme narcissist to know one.
Schlesinger's "good man," "good woman," arguement is an egregious overgeneralization, as the issue of choice is not that black or white, all or nothing. Yet, in making that argument she passive-aggressively implies that her behaviors and choices are somehow superior to the common folk (Today show viewers/anchors), as she knows better than to get with a "bad man," and keeps a "good man" because she is a "good woman."
She is a spiteful, angry and judgemental individual, righteous to the core; a bottomeless pit of useless energy.
It's unfortunate that there are still individuals out there who will buy her hypocritical rhetoric.
By the way, you should know that she also maintains that bipolar illness is overrated and most often a choice.
be well,
jenji
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