I haven't spoken about my career in while.Not sure if I mentioned it, but I'm an actress and model. Okay, moving on.
I get castings each day. Castings are basically jobs that I can submit for. I have been TERRIBLE with responding to the castings. I'm backed up...WAY BACKED UP on my submissions.
Part of my delay is a racy mind, but much of it stems from my fear of success (yes, success) and from feeling that I'm not ready because of my body; hence, increased ED (eating disorder) issues.
But here's the thing: I have been casted after EVERY submission!
I have done a major movie AND just got a call that I am going to do a national cooking show!
Hip Hip Hooray for me!
So, why can't I see that I am good enough and keep submitting?
Amanda left self reflection in my comments recently. She said she once asked the question, why do I hate myself so much.
Why do I hate myself so much?
Why do I NOT see myself as good enough?
Damn, do you have this many issues because I sure as hell feel like I'm one big ball of screw up.
Maybe that's the issue. Amanda eluded to it. I need to love me. Amanda Rocks!
Thanks to Robin Pellegrini and Rebecca Anderson for the image.
8 comments:
Perfection creates impotence.
Hope this helps.
jenji
I AM SOOOOOOOO GONNA PRINT THT AND PUT IT ON MY MIRROR!!!!!!
Thank you!
Perfection is just a reflection of how we think others should see us.
Hey, I just made that up!
Yes, I highly recommend printing that one up...in fact, more than one copy.
I have one on my fridge and one on the inside door of my bathroom medicine cabinet. That way, if I'm stubborn enough to ignore one, I'll be forced to see the other at some point before I drive myself nuts with perfectionistic drama.
Glad it helped.
jenji
I understand where you are coming from with a fear of success. I have bee there many times.
I would like to hear more about your acting. My son does some acting and would like to do more professionally but I don't have any idea how to help him. Feel free to email me at reklaws @ insightbb . com
From what I hear it's one of the most amazing careers there is, and the one most likely to hurt a person's self-esteem even if they had a stellar one to begin with.
Every time I compare myself with others I fall short. Comparing my present self with the past one seems to work a little better, since I am a much better person now than I was before...
I have this same "I'm not good enough" complex, but for me it stems from growing up with my mom, a borderline-personality drug addict who blamed me for everything that went bad in her life [i.e. it was my fault she got pregnant at 16 and has no friends, etc.]. At some point, I had to say, "f*ck it, I'm good enough for ME and that's enough!"
It's hard work. Good luck.
I love you guys; I really do.
Your support, your advice - it all makes my bad days better.
I love my career, but having a roving mind, irritable personality really affects my ability to be consistent.
I have been reciting "perfection breeds impotence" whenever possible in the last couple days. I've managed to realign a couple thoughts, so I claim success thus far. Hooray!
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