Each day is an attempt at being better to me.Who I am today is a reflection of all the work I've done in the last couple months; and I have been doing a lot of work.
As you know I've battled a mild eating disorder for quite some time. Well, I'm proud to say: "No throwing up since July!"
I did take laxatives last week, and although it was rooted in a desire to be healthy, I did overdue it by taking more than recommended. As a result, I had terrible stomach pains because of it, but hey, I'm evolving.
My weight- 128; down from 135. I want to get back down to my 118-125 range. But I'm comfortable with me right now and all my squishy parts.
My skin is the best its been in months! I would actually go without makeup right now, and wouldn't try to hide behind big hair, a hoodie or sunglasses.
I am very comfortable with me such that if my body never changed, I'd love it as it is.
Despite my personal successes, it amazes me how inconsiderate and insensitive people can be.
How do you tell someone "you gained weight", "your butt is growing", "what's wrong with your skin", or "why do you look like that"?
For example, I have weird shaped hips. Ok, they're not weird shaped, it's just that as I gain weight my body deposits fat on my hipbones that make them look weird to me.
Do you know that people have teased me about this? Yup, to my face when it is know that it is an issue for me.
I absolutely still have stuff to work on, but I also know that what makes people say mean things is THEIR stuff; insecurities, fears and flaws.
In light of my eating and bipolar disorder, I'm proof that people who "look" normal could really be dealing with a lot of stuff!
Well, y'all, I'm good with the physical me.
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