I Was 9 - SPOILER

I found the following poem among my writing.

I don't know if I wrote it (can't remember, which isn't unusual as I've blocked out LOTS of things in my life.)

I tried googling the words to see if it came from a book - to no avail

I'm grateful to God to still be alive. Whether I wrote them or not, that I had these words in my possession at age 9, evidences the turmoil I was in way back then.

The Suicide
Darker than night
Frighter than fright
As tiny earthworms and maggots cover
The rotting body in it's tomb.

No movement
No breath of fresh air
No feeling inside
No brain waves through the mind.

What brought me to do this?

The heart pumps it's last pump of blood.
The stomach plunges on it's last meal
And no movement in the legs, cuz they're dead like steal.

I was smarter than that.
People said my life should be thrilling.
I knew I shouldn't have done it,
But yet, I jumped off the building.