I get it.
I was a bit manic when I posted. (Manic said with a role of the eyes.)
Yup, not matter what happened, some things aren't to be spoken or typed even if they are as constant as paint on the walls of my mind.
Question: How do you stop yourself from getting to "that" point? What's your reality check or your automatic shutoff?
For me, experience and necessity has been the best teacher. There's no teacher like realizing that you're unable to make a phone call because you threw your cell phone out of a window or across a highway.
When you have 10 minutes to leave the house, but can't find a shoe because you wrecked a room in a rage, you learn quickly never to do it again. Moreover, the cleanup after trashing a room is never as sweet as when you trashed it. Why?
I don't have kids, and I've never really blown up in front of a friend or bf, so I can't recall the hurt in their eyes to prevent me from spazzing out, but I do recognize that I need an alarm like the one that beeps when your car is reversing and getting to close to an object.
beep, beeP, beEP, bEEP, BEEP, BUTTERFLY STOP!
Do you know where I can get one, and does it hurt to be installed :-)
Joke
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
3 comments:
It is possible for a bipolar to learn restraint. Yeah, even without medicine.
I couldn't continue that train of thought the other day but yeah, it is possible to learn how to put a lid on it. Usually through lots of painful experiences.
My father has a rather severe case of bipolar, and even he finally learned to exercise some (unmedicated) self-restraint.
It all depends how fast we learn. I spent the equivalent of $60.000 during my last big manic episode, but at least I didn't do the Brittney Spears I used to do in the past. To me...that's progress! LOL
I have methods. i simply need to be consistent with them.
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