Here's my issue:
I takes me a looooong time to get to a "10" on the Pissed-o-meter, but once I've reached that "10", it takes me a FOREVER to calm down.
The owner and I had a heated conversation today at 1pm. Okay, so it wasn't crazy heated, but he said somethings that I didn't like.
So, why was I still trying to calm down at 5:30?
I didn't eat Swedish fish, but I did get an amaretto sour; I thought the alcohol would help me relax because it usually makes me sleep.
No go. I was charged and ready to fight.
I tried breathing exercises and listening to The Secret. Perhaps if I had more time I would have been more successful.
Anyway, I stayed silent in my meeting with him, averted direct eye contact and tried to hold my tongue.
When I did speak, my voice trembled, and I made myself leave to get water. Yeah, Houston, we do have a problem.
Why do I have such an emotional response to everything?
Why does it take me so long to calm down?
Why does the slightest infraction cause me to over react to the nth degree?
There's seemingly no in-between with me - it's black or white, up or down, you are for me or against me.
Hmmm. Been thinking about going back to therapy. Maybe I should?
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3 comments:
You are ruminating. It is called catastrophic thinking. What happens is that you are mentally winding yourself up. When you do this you will be on edge, ready to snap at even the slightest transgression. You’re actually longing for it. It can cause a lot of anxiety. It isn’t healthy whatsoever. I am very bad with this aspect of my personality, but I am getting better. I’m a little different than you Butterfly, in as that I click from calm to lividity. But I have found that if I think about something other than that pesky event that keeps popping up in my thoughts, I am a more rational person – not that time-bomb. But I’m telling you if someone has done something and I ruminate on it, especially if I know there will be a confrontation about it again, I will snap or at least have an anxiety attack, where I feel like I will die, because I have spent so much time running scenarios thru my head. I’m telling you the greatest thing you can do is learn to let it go. Just say fuck it. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care about it or have forgiven the transgression, it just means that you haven’t allowed it to rule your thoughts and planted hate. It’s hard, but learn to just get it out of your thoughts every time it pops in there. I hope this makes some sense and not just come off as inane babble. Tricks I have found to get it out of your thoughts – recall an event that made you happy or listen to music and really focus on the lyrics and poetic aspects or just do something that you enjoy and become enthralled.
And be careful about using alcohol to calm down, it is really just depressing or numbing you. Even though I am guilty of this same escape tactic.
Later, Ash out…
Awesome Advice!
Doggie Daddy kinda gave me the same advice. The hardest part is the first step.
I did eventually calm down, and i'll keep practicing. I keep my ipod with me, so that should help.
I'll keep ya posted.
The last drop makes the cup run over.
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