Dear God

So much has happened.
So much has transpired.
I hurt, I cry.
Dear God, I'm tired.

Tired of the pain,
Frustration and shame.
Tired of the labels,
Judgments and games.

Tired of dreams postponed;
Crying alone;
No peace in my skin;
Dear God, I'm in such turmoil within.

Who can hear my silent scream?
Who truly understands this pain so deep?

Under the weave and the Maybeline;
Remove the jewelry and designer jeans;
Behind the smiles worn to appease;
Shed the image they need to see;

I'm in pain.

Oh God!
Hurt and ashamed.
Judging myself harshly
Dear God,
That's the pain I'm in.

This vicious cycle, it just won't end!
I can't even trust my mind-
Formerly my friend.

"I" has turned on "Me";
And "Myself" is nowhere to be found.
I''m surround by people
Yet it seems no one's around

Dear God,
I think I've found hell.
It's right here in my mind-
No peace;
Deferred dreams;
I'm frustrated most of the time.

There's a Cliff behind,
And an 18 wheeler racing ahead.
Get a grip, Butterfly
Or else you'll be dead.

Deep down
I know I transcend hurt and pain
Deep down,
Butterfly, lift your head
You will smile again.

Deep Down
With the last musters of strength...

Inhale.
Exhale.
Dear God,
I still have breath.

Thank you.

(Dedicated to my cousin Mike)