Friday, March 23, 2007

The Thugs Are After Me

I saw them kill someone, so I've been living in hiding for the last 6 months.

Every minute was lived in fear.

I didn't trust anyone to know where I was, so I would wear different disguises to get food, and take a long way to get to my hiding place just to be certain no one was following me.

It was stressing me. It was making me sick.

Ever had someone after you? Ever KNOW that someone wants you dead?

I had to do something. I lost my job, friends didn't understand, and my life as I knew it was over.

I thought bip was bad, but this was worse.

They would want to kill me. I made up my mind that I was either convince them that I wasn't a threat, or die trying. So I did.

I came out of hiding went to where the head thug had breakfast, and him watched from afar.

I was scared as hell, but I had to do it.

I saw that he had a pack of Halls, so I faked a cough, loud enough for him to hear, and went over and asked for one.

He started hitting on me!

Wow! He didn't even recognize my face! He wanted to kill me, but didn't even know me!

We spoke for a couple hours, and I actually started to like him.

Would you believe that we started dating?

We'd laugh, wrestle and go shopping. I never revealed my identity....


This is the kind of sh*t I dream/ think on NO Seroquel and being HIGH on Thin Mints.

The fear was so real, I remember praying to make myself stop thinking about it. I had bip and now people want me dead? Does it ever freaking let up?

I tossed and turned, and tossed and turned and then made myself stand up, shake it off and realize that no one was after me.

Hey, last time, I dreamed that I was dating 50 Cent. He was Curtis to me. LOL.

Just take the pills, Butterfly; take the damn pills.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

That had me going there for a while. Sounded quite normal to me too! :)

Unknown said...

Hey BC -

Did your doc tell you to go off Seroquel, or have you decided to do it on your own? I tried it once, and I totally freaked out, too. The anxiety was unbearable. After a few weeks, I started back on 50mg, and now I'm fine on 100mg. As much as I HATE that drug, I figured out how to lose weight and take it, and it keeps me "normal" - well, as normal as possible.

I hope you start feeling better on your no-Seroquel journey! I'll start reading to see how you're faring...I'm very curious because of my own experience...

Butterfly said...

Amanda, I tried to lay off the girl scout cookies, but...well, I have 7 shortbread cookies left from a 2 pack. Stay tuned.

Butterfly said...

Kansas, when I took the 100mg of Seroquel, I was a zombie. I cut back to 75mg, and have been doing better. However, I must admit that when I need to be up early, I cut it back to 25 or 50mg.

I tweek it as necessary for me to function each day.