I Tied it to My Finger

I did, honest.

Off and on throughout my adult life, I've tied a string to my finger.

I'd wear it for weeks at a time; wash my hands and sleep with it, etc. It was jewelry; a ring.

I never wore it to remember anything as trivial, as "don't forget the soy milk", it was always something more introspective, and well, damn it, I tied the string to remind me of deep stuff like "be nice to people", "turn that frown upside down", "count to 10 and get a hold of yourself".

And it would help me.

Very often total strangers would ask me if I remember what the string represents as an intro to "so, can we have lunch sometime?". The really rude ones would ask me out right - "so what are you trying to remember?".

Why the focus on memory?

Because I can't remember sh*t!

It's not just the glasses of red wine and amaretto sour or sleep deprivation; I can't remember anything.

I hate when people tell me the same damn story over and over. I would always think that they were shallow and self-absorbed, like, damn, do they really think I want to hear every freaking detail of their crummy date again?!

And now I have become that person.

I'm so aware of my short term memory loss, that before I share, I've started asking "hey, did I tell you about...?"

I'm also keeping insane notes about everything. I write everything down, refer to my notes often, and get paranoid about losing it, so I write it down in several places.

No one likes a repeater.

Hmmm, so is this me being over analytical or can I rightfully blame this on Seroquel or Lexapro?

Which came first - losing my memory and then me noticing, or me noticing that I don't remember everything, and then taking detailed notes created the environment to forget more things?

See my dilemma?