Hi guys. I'm having a lot of trouble right now.
I can't trust my mind, I'm questioning whether I really know right from wrong, and I'm struggling with being a half way decent wife to a great husband.
All that while still trying to work and not reduce my life to utter muck.
Be patient with me.
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sweetie i'm really worried about you, i think maybe you need to call your pdoc or therapist... can you do that or have someone do it for you? it never feels like it's "time" for help, trust me i didn't see it coming and they kept me for 2 whole months!!! So please just ask for help ok????
Thank you Jena.
My changes have not gone unnoticed. I've noticed it, my husband has noticed, and as I leave yet another path of destruction at yest another job, I relaize that I need SERIOUS counseling. As soon as I get stable I will be going 2x/week.
Thanks again.
Be patient with me.
(((((((Butterfly)))))))
Been there done that.
How can I not be?
thanks for dropping by, it was so nice to hear from you even if just a "hi"! Still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, Jena
Hope things are looking up for you B.
Hope all is well with you...hang in there, we're all rooting for you!
Sending some HUGS and happy thoughts!
I know where you are coming from. I am in a similar spot... right now I can feel myself spinning out of control and having all of these wild impulses... I recognize they are wrong and could be disastrous if I acted on them... so I try to restrain myself... and I have so much internal discord from the effort to remain "socially acceptable". I am to manic to sit and read much more of what you write so I will add you to my preferred clog list :)
~Ann
I continue to miss you and worry for you. I hope and pray you are ok.
((((((((((((((Butterfly))))))))))))))
I feel the same way. My psych said she did not know what was going on but there are alot of us out there right now.
You are not alone.
Hey Butterfly, My name doesn't show as Jena anymore, but it is me (called Violet at least for now). I just wanted to find out how you're doing. It's been ages since I've heard from you and I wanted to make sure you're ok. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Hope to talk to you soon.
Love, Jena
Wish you a wonderful year ahead!
All is well on the home front.
Being lonely in a crowded room. Feeling sad and not knowing why, not being able to sleep, waking up in the morning not being able to move, giving up your life out of no choice, crying for no reason, making a demon appear in your head. Listen to its horrid world making your life spin in circles not knowing what path to take. The dead end of a road. The coffee black peice in your soul, not resting till the end of time, never leting it forget you, eating your soul, mind and heart. Try to run as you will, you life will be taken. Draging you one foot at a time into hell. The suicide you wish you could have just to end the pain. Pity when you hate others sympathy. Self hatred, sadness, anger, darkness, deadly, lonely, sorrowing, regreting, perpetual, and killing. Giving up your dreams to be stuck in the enternal force of demonic gravity. It is a world. It is my life.
http://forbiddenregrets.blogspot.com
I completely understand what you are going through. I have bipolar as well and it can often feel like everyone around me thinks I am crazy and then I begin to think it. I found a useful resource, http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-ba , that offers tips about keeping your bipolar symptoms in check. I recommend checking it out because it has been really helpful for me.
Hi Bipolar Chick,
I just wanted you to know, we've all been there. Do you have a good doctor? And, therapist? Now might be the time to ask for help. I know it's so hard to be ill AND advocate for yourself. Maybe you could have your wonderful husband help you this time. I think maybe it's time for some help.
I struggle frequently with 'trusting my mind.' In growing up, my (adoptive) family taught me that any problem was in fact, my fault. It was many years into my adulthood before I could trust myself at all. I heard Oprah Winfrey once say that 'any day she woke up in her right mind, was a good day.' I sincerely doubt whether she realized the full import of what she had said, but on hearing it once, I never forgot it. I found my birthparents and discovered that I had Cherokee lineage. They were a 'troubled' lot, though I doubt that they ever got their chins up enough to get a diagnosis and in those days, it was called crazy anyway.
I just want you to know I care.
Please write to me anytime you want to:
susanni7@yahoo.com
I am Susan, bipolar myself, and am divorced and now 56. I have lived successfully on my own now for 7 years. My best to you.
Susan
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