Married men are still men. Men like women; good looking women.
When men cheat, they never go for Gilda the lunch lady or Janice the geriatric librarian. They go for Svetlana the Russian model, Renee the 23 year old English au pair, or Kelly their smokin hot executive assistant from Detroit.
What's my point?
Too many women stop being sexy as soon as they wed. They trade in stilettos for Keds, minis for mom jeans and contacts for glasses. They stop working out, stop wearing makeup and become the very definition of everything that turns their husbands OFF. Likewise, men fail to be emotionally available to their wives.
IMHO, there is a fundamental difference between the sexes:
Women marry women and hope that they WILL change!
When men cheat once, it's usually all about the sexual chemistry. For chronic cheaters (with multiple women) it's about sex. It grows into an affair when he receives the validation of being a man that he isn't getting at home. A man may or may not have sex with a women with whom he develops and emotional connection.
Women (in my opinion) rarely cheat for sex. They usually do it because the person listened to them or made them feel sexy. It seems to starts emotional first.
Anyway, WAIT! I am not blaming Spitz-wife's appearance on the reason why he cheated. I'm not using appearance as an excuse for cheating at all. Cheating is unacceptable even if a man is whuppin your butt!
What am I saying?
Well, I think women/ wives should be HOT! First for themselves (it’ll make you feel great); but also for your husband. (The same applies to husbands. Be sexy and attentive to your wives.)
Will being sexy STOP men from cheating? Absolutely not. After all, Eric Benet cheated on Halle Berry and she is as gorgeous as it gets. (But he was a nympho.) A jerk is a jerk, but sexy breeds intimacy and intimacy is an integral part of a relationship; it’s glue. Without glue, the marriage will come undone.
IMHO, "sexy" is placed on the back burner in marriages. The intimacy that brought two people together will be the intimacy that keeps them together. Intimacy need not be ONLY sex, it could be communication. All too often, life clutters the view so that the decline in intimacy goes unnoticed.
“Be sexy” isn’t the end all be all, but it’s the complaint that I hear most often.
There's a lot that taints my viewpoint. Life has been different for me.
Stay Tuned: I Was the Other Woman.
4 comments:
Great post. And so true. I think women should not lose their sexuality or sexiness either. But sexy to one, is not sexy to another. Men are all different, some like conservative women and some like exibitionist women. Some like women who are discreet and some like their women to flaunt it. :)
As a mother of four, I have tried sooo hard to always wear make up, look my best, and try to look attractive.
Sexy, well I need to lose about 20 pounds to fit into some clothes I used to fit into when I first met my hubby.
Sexy is good...And I want to learn how to dance around a pole! LOL!!
Thanks Dream!
I agree with you Butterfly, and I do admire women who manage to be good mothers yet still retain their sexiness. Cause it's not really marriage that turns most women into dawds...it's the kids and the exhausting routine that becomes your life after you get them.
Most mothers are lucky to get a moment off. It's always something. They rarely have time to get in touch with their inner goddess, and by the time they get to do so they've often forgotten how. And then there's the men.
Men who start taking their wife for granted after a while, and forget that she still needs to be wooed now and then, just like anyone else. They quickly become boring in bed because they are too busy feeling sorry about themselves for not having that exciting sexlife they read about in Penthouse to think about what she might like.
In the end most people find someone new and start the cycle all over again. For some reason that's easier to do than re-invest in the old relationship.
Sorry, my bitterness is showing.
No bitterness Amanda, I totally get it and agree.
I can hardly "preserve my sexy" now. I couldn't even imagine me PLUS a child.
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