Get Thee Behind The Wall!

I've always had trouble with boundaries!

I tell too much.
I let people in too soon.
I won't say no.
I won't tell how I really feel.
I tolerate peoples crap.
I loan/ give too much money.
I over & double book.
I volunteer.
I help people do simple tasks.

Hooray for me! Knowing is Step 1!

Step 2: Recognize Why Change is Necessary

I'm putting up walls aka setting boundaries.

First, Hubby and I have officially declared 2008 as a "no loan/ no give money" year. As much as it's gonna hurt me, I won't.

Why?

Because my husband and I are getting on our feet.

How can we focus on building when we are giving?

If we don't take care of us now and secure our future, we won't be able to help anyone at all. And no, its not all about cash; its about time and creativity, too. I feel like people milk me for all they can get, rarely stick around to return the deposit.

Well, I guess I"ve allowed it.

(Hubby's great with all this, btw. I'm the one that needs the work.)

Step 3: Operation Implement Boundaries Action Plan
No Charity-I refuse to be pimped.
If you don't have a budget, I'm not your gal. Furthermore, Thank you for your compliments on my writing, but I will not write a letter for you, nor will I help you plan anything. I won't make an appearance without payment and I don't need the exposure you offer.

While were at it: I don't trade, I don't comp, I don't accept deferred payment, and I don't volunteer or "help out".

No Time- Waste Your Own
I know what I want and your indecision slows me down. So, I have no interest in doing or going anywhere with you. I have no time to help you figure "it" out and no desire to help you come up with ideas. Helping you with your life and dreams and stuff, leaves me no time to focus on mine.

No Point- I don't NEED friends.
I have a husband; I may want freinds, but I certainly don't need them.

There are so many people who I have allowed to selfishly make demands of my time for many years. Many of whom I have grown apart from, but who insist on holding on. (I've been holding on, too.)

They"re stuck in high school, in college or in a life that is so far from who I am now.

What's the point in reconnecting?
Why should I feel forced to see you just because you're in my city?

So, to you, no, I don't want to linkup, hook up, hang out, grab a drink, chill in Starbucks or get together.

Step 4: Stick to it.

My peace is my responsibility. If I don't have peace, it is MY fault.