So I live in fear of stupid sh*t.
I've lived my life that one day I will run for president and my nasty opponents will leak things to the press.
So, if I out myself first, I have one up on my future mud slingers, right?
I actually have nightmares about things that would be embarrassing to me. I have no reason to think these thing could happen, but it doesn't stop me from stressing.
The worst nightmares include the following pictures:
- Nude or topless
- Me throwing up in public
- Doing #2 on the side of a road
- Skirt blowing up to reveal hole-y panties
I also think of things like:
- an ex revealing a "sex tape"
- chick claiming we had a "relationship" and planned to adopt
- secret baby I gave up for adoption
- Wilt Chamberlain style book that claims I slept with thousands of men
I know that they're weird and far fetched, but this goes back to me feeling/ living like a celebrity. I live a very "on" life. I feel like the paparazzi are just waiting for the right time to launch "Butterfly Uncovered".
I don't know, I kinda live life like I'm perfect, and I'm told that alot. Maybe that's why its hard for me to envison a life where people would know for a fact that I'm not.
Hmmm, I guess I need to decide now if I will be able to live with a tarnished image of me, and to recognize that people before me have overcome embarrassing sh*t, and so can I.
3 comments:
Hopefully I was supposed to laugh as I read butterfly, because I was. Pic of doing #2 on side of road - that's classic.
Just be yourself butterfly and be proud. It will be good enough.
The good thing about being a perfectionist with a VERY tarnished image is that it forced me to be more laid back.
I'm sure the compulsion to act out decreased because of this. :)
Hmmm. I amd oing things RIGHT NOW that are so contrary to me perfectionist image.
Why am I doing such things? Its almost like I am sabatoging myself.
Go figure.
Post a Comment