It's Day 2 of being semi back and I think I am OD-ing on blog posts.
There's so much to tell, share, write about, and as I get caught up on your blogs, I am motivated to write even more; but it's overwhelming.
Today, I am rapid cycling; in fact I've been this way for the last week. I tried to convince myself that I am really not bipolar at all, and that my only issue is that "life" isn't exactly the way I want it.
2004 was a great year for me. I've been toying with the idea that if my hubby and I went back to 2004, would I still be experiencing such periods of mania and depression?
The answer may be easy for you, but um, no so much for me. So, let's just say that's all for now.
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3 comments:
I can totally relate to being overwhelmed. And, I am officially a "Bipolar I Ultra-Radian Rapid Cyler" and my hospital psychiatrist describes my illness as "fragile." Having overwhelmingness and stress and rapid shifts in a day are nothing new for me and I have so much empathy for what you are going through. I just want to tell you that.
You also sound like me in that you question your Bipolar diagnosis. It's natural. And hard to accept. I think i finally accepted it when I had a ton of actual episodes and required hospitalization and had 4 psychiatrists agree that that's what I have. Lol. Now i would sound looney if I denied it. It's easier to just accept it and live my life trying to cope around it. You can't just put an illness of any kind on the backburner. It's like trying to ignore the flu, or pnemonia, or arthritis. You can't ignore those, you have to have treatment for them, and learn to survive with them, as unfortunate as it is.
We can have good times and normal times in life too, and your 2004 was a great year. I also wish I could replicate certain times. But it's just not possible... you gotta live for the moment and make the best out of what you have. Day by day.
I'm in a really hard spot right now in life. If you read my latest post, you'll see. So i'm not saying all this as someone who has it easy... I am not having it easy at all... i'm just saying I can relate, and I wanted to encourage you a bit.
Hope your spirits lift. Thinking of you. :)
I know what you mean. I've felt that way many times in the last few years and then I have an episode and reality kicks back in.
You'll come down.
Later, Ash out...
Everything is interconnected. Nothing is as is. I like the holistic approach.
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