"Well, I thought I was priority..."

Those were the words my mother said to me.

Are you kidding me?!?!

That's that bullshit.
The guilt trip.

The "put-me-first-so-that-you-have-no-time-for-your-own-life-and-when-your-life-isn't-making-any-progress-I'll-make-you-feel-like-shit" CRAP!

At the end of '07, I realized that my mother and I had a very unhealthy relationship. I would share details of my life hoping to get her approval only to be berated about what I was an wasn't doing well.

All my life, we have either been on speaking terms or at each other's throats. I had enough at the end of last year. I saw it, my hubby saw it, and it was time to end it.

What we had was some dysfunctional codependent in funk bullshit.

I started this year wanting to cut the umbilical cord from my mother. I lost my early twenty's raising HER son. My life and progress was stunted putting HER first.

I've spent at least the 3 years being bitter for where my life is and where I thought it could have been if I wasn't doing stuff for her.

How long did I really plan on blaming my mother?

How long was I going to allow her to run nmy life and dictate what I should and shouldn't do?

Notice I said allow. It was my fault. It takes two to have a dysfunctional relationship.

So, I cut the umbilical cord that connected me to her and kept me craving her approval. I would share only to be judged. I wouldn't open myself up only to have it thrown in my face.

"Well, I thought I was priority..." I didn't even flinch. I simply said "mother, I will talk to you later."

I am a woman.
I am a wife.
I am someone's child but I am NOT a child.

FREEDOM!

It feels great!

Grattitude Moment: I'm thankful for the wisdom that comes with growth.