Under the Influence

There was a point in my life when I knew nothing about drugs and alcohol.

Truth is, when I was in high school, I visited other high schools as a peer counselor, and was lauded for my anti-drugs/ alcohol/ violence/ pregnancy speeches.

I'm certain that this "perfect child" pedestal I was placed on contributed greatly to the pressures I have today; but I digress.

Is it that I simply grew up, and as I did I was exposed to things like drugs?

How is it that I know SO MANY PEOPLE for whom smoking weed is commonplace; part of daily activity?

Brush teeth, take bath, check voicemail, smoke some weed.

I know professionals, like head of companies and households, that smoke weed EVERYDAY!

It's around me so much, that I'm having issues determining if weed is bad (as I've always thought) or simply matter of choice.

I did it about 3 times. Once as a trial and I fell asleep. The other 2 times I did it intentionally to fall asleep.

I only stopped smoking becasue I was afraid my addictive personality would take over and I'd end up in a facility for drug rehabilitation

I guess I'm a hypocrite.

Hence, added frustration that makes me long for Maryland and the quiet necessary to balance my "ought" and my "actual".