I think I'm an elitist.
I do feel entitled to preferential treatment.
I do feel that I am better than most.
I do feel like pound for pound, no one is better than I am.
It's this thinking also affects how I interact with others.
At times when I should probably listen and be what others consider to be supportive, I'm turned off my excessive whining and a lack of focus. I see people who are unable to make decisions as weak.
Now, I know that bipolar disorder often muddles my thoughts and leads to indecision, but its ok for me because I'm tying and I don't wallow in the murky waters of self pity for too long. But for everyone else, it annoys me.
At church today the message was about love.
1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in human or angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body [to hardship] that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I don't like my mindset, so I'm changing that, too
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1 comment:
I admire your perseverance and strength. I am hoping that God will start to show himself to me again the way he always used to. I feel like i can identify with you in so many ways...
i realize i've been sitting at home and exploring your blog all day so it's probably a one-sided thing for now, but i am taking a real liking for you because i share a lot of similar thoughts and pains.
you'll be in my prayers.
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