Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Speaking of Fights

I'm fighting today.

Cheery and perky vs. melancholy and gloomy
Social Butterfly and communicative vs. Recluse and antisocial.
Productive vs. procrastinating and falling behind
Completing projects vs. feeling worthless

I hate looking at my life based on a 1-10 spectrum - 1 being depressed, 10 being manic- but that's kinda what my life has become.

Today I am a 2, and terribly afraid. I really shouldn't miss additional work days, and I falling behind is not an option; but I can't sleep. I took 75mg of Seroquel at 7:30, and I'm still awake.

Bah Humbug.

I need an 8 or 9 right now. There's so much I want to get done for work, but I'm in a sleepy, foggy haze.

I'm fighting against an opponent, one as cunning as can be.
This opponent knows my strengths, my weaknesses
Can anticipate my moves, gauge my defenses, and
With one quick blow I can be brought to my knees.
I see this cunning opponent,
As shrewd as can be each time I look in a mirror.
My opponent is me.

2 comments:

Dobro said...

I liked the poem at the end of your posting.

Butterfly said...

I like that you read :-)

Thanks you.